Kylie, are you really talking about this...again. Yes. I am. And I will continue to talk about it until I am blue in the face and something about what I am saying will resonate with each and every person who works with me, follows me on social media or reads my blogs. So, here I go again, asking “do you love yourself?” My goal in this lifetime is that every person I know answers a resounding YES. But, for those who still struggle with this or are working on self-love, here are some MORE of my thoughts.
The other day I just happened to have the TV on as I worked at my kitchen table. It was really more background noise than anything. It was about 10:45 in the morning and the show I was half-listening to was on HGTV. I am not intentionally making a gender-stereotype on who is watching HGTV at the time of day but, it became painfully obvious after about four commercial breaks who was being targeted by paid advertising. Women. I am not exaggerating when I say that there were no less than eight commercials for weight loss products with all females in the commercials. EIGHT commercials within a small 45 minute time span. Eight times of before and afters and promises of quick results. It was such a small part of my day and, yet, it really hit home to me how much society preys on our insecurities and reinforces that we are not enough just exactly the way we are. Ladies (and gentlemen...because I know you guys feel the pressure too), the cards of self-love are stacked against us. This was not even an hour of time and I was bombarded with images of how society values weightloss and the pursuit of the “perfect” body. Now multiply that hour by hours, days, weeks and years of these types of messages. Yikes!
Trust me when I say that quick weight loss is not the best way to personal growth. You are going to hear me say this, time and again, but I truly believe mindset and our beliefs about ourselves are the most important tools for getting us to our healthiest and happiest lives.
Before you can foster an empowered mindset, though, you need to get to the root of what is blocking you. You need to become aware of your limiting beliefs and how they are holding you back. This is not an easy process! And while every person is unique and has their own challenges and this may be really simplifying things, I can tell you that most of the limiting beliefs I hear can be traced back to one huge roadblock to loving ourselves. And this is the belief that we are not good enough just the way we are.
This feeling of “not good enough” affects every way we interact with the world!
And especially the way we interact with and treat our bodies. I work with many folks who have gotten trapped into disordered eating patterns. They don’t know how to get out of breaking habits that have held them hostage for years. My groups are about so much more than shedding pounds and building muscle. They are about shedding these detrimental thoughts and habits and building self-love. My focus is truly about helping those who are struggling to recognize and work on the disordered thinking that is leading to the disordered eating.
If you are under eating, maybe you are truly struggling with “taking up space” and expressing who you are and valuing your voice. You believe you are not enough and you need to make yourself smaller to match this belief.
Maybe you are habitually overeating. Maybe you are carrying an emotional weight. Maybe you feel you need physical protection from a world that has reinforced that you are not enough and you need to make yourself bigger to combat feeling powerless against this belief.
Maybe you binge. Maybe you purge. Maybe you over-exercise. Maybe you never exercise. All of these behaviors stem from thoughts of being not enough. This core belief about yourself is scary to face and then untangle. And I want you to know that you do not need to face it alone and I can help give you tools to untangle the thoughts and habits. Especially because they are not actually the truth!!! The real truth is that you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. Yes, right now, at this very moment. Wherever you are in the process, you are worthy of love in every regard. You are already good. You already have value. But, if you have thoughts and resulting behaviors that tell you otherwise, let me be a reminder to you that these are just simply thoughts and that behaviors can be changed at any moment by actions.
Our thoughts create our life and why not fill your life with LOVE?! The more you work on loving thoughts, the more a life you love will be your reality. I promise.